The Shift Beyond Self Awareness

"I know, I know - I'm a perfectionist."

He laughed as he said it, like the self-awareness earned him points. But his team wasn't laughing. They were burned out, second-guessing every email, and quietly updating their résumés.

He knew his tendency. He even joked about it in meetings. What he didn't know was that knowing wasn't enough.

When Self-Awareness Becomes Permission

Here's the uncomfortable truth: The thing you're most proud of about yourself might be the exact reason people find you exhausting to work with.

You're decisive. Reliable. High-achieving. Detail-oriented. Direct. These are powerful traits - they're probably why you are where you are.

But dial any strength up past a certain point, and it stops serving you.

Decisiveness becomes domineering. Reliability becomes rigidity. Passion becomes intensity that exhausts others. High standards become impossible expectations that crush morale.

And here's the worst part: You can see the pattern and still be completely blind to its impact.

The Gap Between Intent and Impact

This is where the damage lives - and it's massive.

You think: I'm being thorough because I care about quality. They experience: "Nothing I do is ever good enough."

You think: I'm being decisive to keep us moving forward. They experience: "My input doesn't matter; decisions are already made."

You think: I'm being honest to help them grow. They experience: "I'm constantly being criticized."

You're focused on your why - your positive intention. They're living with your how - the actual impact of your behavior.

Intent doesn't erase impact. It never has. It never will.

Why We Stay Stuck

You've seen the pattern. You've felt the cost. Maybe you've even tried to change. So why doesn't it stick?

Your strength became your identity. When a trait has served you well for years, it becomes inseparable from who you are. To question the behavior feels like questioning your worth.

Change feels inauthentic. "This isn't me," you think when you pause before speaking or let something be 'good enough' instead of perfect. Of course it doesn't feel like you - you haven't practiced it yet. Growth always feels awkward before it feels natural.

You're protecting something. Every overused strength is protecting you from something: vulnerability, loss of control, being overlooked, failure. Until you understand what you're protecting, you can't address the root.

The Shift: From Blind Spot to Growth Edge

Here's what changes everything: Your blind spot isn't a flaw to fix - it's a growth edge to explore.

A flaw implies something's wrong with you. A growth edge implies there's more of you to discover. And that reframe matters, because shame never created lasting change.

The roadmap:

1. Separate your worth from your pattern. You are not your decisiveness. You are not your high standards. These are tools you use, not who you are. Your value is inherent. The pattern is just a strategy - and strategies can evolve.

2. Learn to modulate, not eliminate. You don't need to stop being decisive or direct. You need to learn when to dial it up and when to dial it down. Before you speak, act, or decide, pause and ask: "What does this moment need?"

3. Read and respond to impact. Watch body language. Listen to the words beneath the words. When multiple people give you similar feedback, believe them. And when you overshoot, acknowledge it: "I realized I steamrolled that conversation. Can we back up?"

4. Make it a practice, not a one-time fix. Growth edges aren't conquered; they're tended. This is ongoing work. When you slip back (you will), meet yourself with curiosity, not judgment.

The Question That Changes Everything

"What is this costing me - and is it worth it?"

Not what it might cost someday. What it's costing right now. In trust. In connection. In influence. In peace.

Because here's the truth: You can be right and be alone. You can have high standards and lose good people. You can be decisive and miss crucial input.

The growth edge asks: What if you could keep your strength AND build better relationships? What if you could be excellent AND make others feel valued?

That's not compromise. That's mastery.

Your blind spot just became your growth edge. The only question left is: What are you going to do with it?

💡Read the longer article here: https://10eb2045-86d9-468b-94cb-0a976a5c8531.usrfiles.com/ugd/10eb20_248cc8df534449ababb4ccbe778e0317.pdf